This is not a poor pathetic me, pity pee party, it's the exact opposite actuality. I honestly hesitate to even share this here, because I dont want to seem like I am complaining. I'm not. But I have always maintained a certain level of honesty and openness about my personal life with those of you who visit this blog, (as well as sharing some pretty cool stuff too!) and I will continue to do so.

Now that being said...

I am not sure what the future holds for us... Right now it looks pretty dark.

I have  0% direction as far as my career/job is concerned. I have no clue what I am suppose to do to earn more money. I like my current job, i've been there long enough that my co-workers feel like family to me, but I don't get paid enough. We are probably on the verge of filing for bankruptcy. The debt to income ratio has tilted the wrong way. Our phones have been turned off for several days, our internet is next. yadda yadda yadda etc etc, you get the picture. We are literally broke. Literally, as in bills currently due, 0 dollars in our accounts type of broke.

But...

In the midst of all this drama, I feel peace. For the first time in a long time, maybe ever. I have as since of inner joy that surpasses all the mess of my life.

Weird.

Yet...

Awesome.

I know that God can.

He can help me out of this situation. i believe Him. I trust Him. I love Him, but not near as much as He loves me!

I feel less direction about my job, and $ then ever before! But way more direction about my purpose in this life.

I know now beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am here to know Him better, and to help others know Him and to reconcile all things back to Him.

All things belong to God, all truth, all love, all beauty, all things! I know this now.

The bible says it this way:

2 COR 5:18- All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.20 We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.

This liberates, excites, and fills me wtih purpose.

So no. I am not sure what the future holds for me/us.

I don't care.

I have a future.

A beautifully broken, life filled, hurt, and poverty affected, addiction fighting, truthful, authentic, LOVE powered joyful future.

That's more than enough for me.

May God bless you all and pull you closer to Himself, and may you and I learn to suffer well, to praise and honor Him in the darkest of days, and brightest of nights, and may we be reconciled to the way life was intended to be, living in a closer unity with each other and with God the Father, through His Son, our Lord and savior Jesus the Christ.

Amen.

See you soon

-Michael